Coping.....

Touring in the city often means responding to situations that are very familiar to us. But for the normal citizen, those situations do not necessarily present themselves on a daily basis.

So when a situation arises for a family and they are unsure of what happened or what to do, then a goal for the officer is to get them through the situation.

Once way to assist them to get through any situation is to tell them everything they need to expect. Sometimes it is merely just being there for them. Other times, if you can joke and get them to relax, then you can accomplish a goal of reducing their anxiety and help them through the situation.

I had that opportunity twice yesterday. To help a family cope through a very tragic experience. It was actually a situation that they knew was very possible and they actually did expect the situation. But how often are you really ready for it?

In order for them to get through the situation, you work with the family by giving them information. Information is often the comfort that they need. Knowing that they do not have to jump into a situation right a way or take care of the details immediately is nice to know. That gives them the opportunity to step back and take a breath. That moment is often needed in many family situations.

One of my colleagues said it best, driving 100 plus miles an hour (on a highway) during a pursuit. When the bad guy fired shots back at the officers, a bullet struck the windshield and then fragmented and hit him in the shoulder. The remainder of the fragments hit the seat belt, headliner and visor. As the pursuit was going on, he could be heard on his dash cam (video recorder) saying "Breath, Breath, Breath". He then would pick up the microphone and advise the dispatch of the gun going off (not knowing it hit his body) and giving continued updates about the pursuit.

It is this advise that we try to give families during these situations. To remind them to breath is an important step to grief, recovery and understanding. So remember to breath.

Another way to deal with a traumatic situation is to joke about the situation. Humor has been found to be the best medicine for many situations. But you have to remember, that humor must be appropriate.

Well, on a car crash it can be appropriate. When the wife is still sitting in the car, shaking, looking for important papers, you know she needs to relax and take a breath.

So a great way to accomplish this goal is to create a humorous line that gets them to laugh, breath and relax.

So I approached and ask the elderly woman this question, "So where is your Daddy taking you?" She stopped shaking and realized that I was talking about her husband.

She was quick to respond that they were going to their rent house to replace a door. As she gave the response she just laughed.

I then asked her if her Daddy was going to take her out to dinner for being a good daughter and assisting with the rent house. She laughed more and and said, "Yes, we are going out for hamburgers, I believe."

She was then calm enough to have found the necessary papers and was able to provide them for the collision investigation.

Before they left, they both thanked us for our kind words and making the situation a little better. The husband then shook our hands and said, "If you guys want to join us a Ron's Hamburgers, we would be glad to sit with you."

I might have had Ron's last night, but that 'hanging the door thing' might have been necessary before the trip to Ron's.